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... in which David is... oh fuck it.
I'm in a shitty mood, and I don't know why.
Now then, my friend, now to your purpose. Patience; enjoy it - revenge can't be taken haste.
I'm also in a Sweeney Todd soundtrack sort of mood. Mainly because of A Little Priest and Epiphany.
Actually, I do know why. It's because of this whole fucking Jason thing. I feel guilty. Because I unintentionally led him on. And because I'll have to cut him loose eventually. And because he messaged me over MSN while I was cleeaaarrrly both Away AAANNNDDD Busy (it says I'm composing and that I was having dinner... can he not read?). AAANNNDDD smses me to say the exact same thing. Seriously, let go already.
The only thing is... how do I tell him I can't stand (the way I perceive) him now without crushing him? I mean, I know I'm not that awesome a catch, but Jason is... well, to be honest, he at least seems to be a feather weight in the confidence department. If I tell him that I don't want anything more to do with him (because I don't really want another friend like him), I'm pretty sure he'll just retreat even further into his shell. At least Stalker Matt made me angry. Jason's just... ugh, I'm such a bitch.
I'll have Joe to contend with again, too. If he corners me when I'm in a state of less-than-pure sobriety again, I honestly hope I have the will to leave. Of course I'd apologise to everyone else the next day.
Also I feel guilty because I've been super aware of every other male specimen since, like, Tuesday. Seriously, what was it this week at Uni? Hot Man Week? Male Pride Week? Let's Group All The Attractive Young Males Together Dress Them In Skinny Legs And Parade Them In Front Of David Week? On top of that, I'm pretty sure one of the guys at SUMS was flirting with me, though... it is SUMS. (Seriously, I had no idea that choirs were this smutty. Thank god it wasn't this way at school, though... at least, in my year it wasn't).
Also, I'm angry I've done this both to myself and Jason. This isn't how it's supposed to go down. I should know - it's common knowledge that Basses go down, and as I am a Bass, I therefore have practical knowledge in the hows of goings down. So there. But it sucks because I'm jealous of this other guy who had it all happen the Right Way. And it was adorable, and it's that that I want, not sleazy come-ons while drunk, failed dates and obligation to friends and their boyfriends.
This isn't how romance works.
I'm in a shitty mood, and I don't know why.
Now then, my friend, now to your purpose. Patience; enjoy it - revenge can't be taken haste.
I'm also in a Sweeney Todd soundtrack sort of mood. Mainly because of A Little Priest and Epiphany.
Actually, I do know why. It's because of this whole fucking Jason thing. I feel guilty. Because I unintentionally led him on. And because I'll have to cut him loose eventually. And because he messaged me over MSN while I was cleeaaarrrly both Away AAANNNDDD Busy (it says I'm composing and that I was having dinner... can he not read?). AAANNNDDD smses me to say the exact same thing. Seriously, let go already.
The only thing is... how do I tell him I can't stand (the way I perceive) him now without crushing him? I mean, I know I'm not that awesome a catch, but Jason is... well, to be honest, he at least seems to be a feather weight in the confidence department. If I tell him that I don't want anything more to do with him (because I don't really want another friend like him), I'm pretty sure he'll just retreat even further into his shell. At least Stalker Matt made me angry. Jason's just... ugh, I'm such a bitch.
I'll have Joe to contend with again, too. If he corners me when I'm in a state of less-than-pure sobriety again, I honestly hope I have the will to leave. Of course I'd apologise to everyone else the next day.
Also I feel guilty because I've been super aware of every other male specimen since, like, Tuesday. Seriously, what was it this week at Uni? Hot Man Week? Male Pride Week? Let's Group All The Attractive Young Males Together Dress Them In Skinny Legs And Parade Them In Front Of David Week? On top of that, I'm pretty sure one of the guys at SUMS was flirting with me, though... it is SUMS. (Seriously, I had no idea that choirs were this smutty. Thank god it wasn't this way at school, though... at least, in my year it wasn't).
Also, I'm angry I've done this both to myself and Jason. This isn't how it's supposed to go down. I should know - it's common knowledge that Basses go down, and as I am a Bass, I therefore have practical knowledge in the hows of goings down. So there. But it sucks because I'm jealous of this other guy who had it all happen the Right Way. And it was adorable, and it's that that I want, not sleazy come-ons while drunk, failed dates and obligation to friends and their boyfriends.
This isn't how romance works.